I remember when I was on the swim team as a kid. Every Monday, Wednesday and Friday, we would swim a good mile at a nearby pool. After swimming we would all go into the locker room, and, well, I think it would be inappropriate to repeat what was said here.
How often are men’s-only activities reduced to such a level? Mom worries about Johnny going fishing with the guys because she figures the guys will talk about guys stuff in language Johnny is too young to learn. The phrase locker room talk says it all: as soon as men are alone, they only talk about one thing. This is so present in our culture that when I mentioned we played sports in the seminary to a friend, he wondered if we could remain “godly.”
In the Legion, the only part of sports I have seen that might not be godly was my complete lack of fitness when I joined. (I lost 65-70 pounds my first year and a half.) This was made tougher by the fact we play twice a day during candidacy (first 3 months); then in novitiate (next 2 years) we have a daily run led by a brother who is generally in better shape than the rest. By second year, I was able to lead it, once.
Over the years I have played in everything from blizzards to blissful summer days, against brothers I could outrun and brothers who ran right past me, in a flurry of different sports, but I have never heard one cuss word or vulgarity. In fact, I think the most common words when we play are “help,” “mine” and “good pass/shot.”
Only once did I play with someone who lost control: a candidate got mad a few times in soccer. However, when I played with the same person some months back it is clear this is long behind him. For me the key you can see in our sports is charity. This is first seen in teamwork but it extends beyond it to avoiding penalties or any contact resembling a penalty.
Last Sunday I was playing soccer and trying to steal the ball, I accidently got the other brother’s shin. Without even thinking I call my foul. Even though I want to win, the goal is to help the others relax and a victory doesn’t feel good unless it is honest. A man, who can control himself in sports when he wants to win, can control himself anywhere.
Brother Matthew won’t say it but I am the friend he refers to in this post (by the way I am quite honoured he called me his friend!). I lead a Regnum Christi study circle for men in the Ottawa region (Canada) and the book we are currently studying is The Measure of a Man, from Paul Getz, in which the author proposes 10 attributes of a wise godly man based on St. Paul’s epistles to Titus and Timothy. The more we study and discuss the book, the more it becomes obvious that anger, swearing, and pride are important issues we have to deal with as men.
It’s not that I was not suprised to hear that LCs and aspiring LCs play sports but since «boys will be boys», which means being competitive and proud, I was wondering how they could manage to harness their manhood in order to be competitive without turning into «raging bulls» (it’s a metaphor, of course).
Thanks Brother Matthew for teaching me that by practicing charity we can be both manly and hopefully godly.
Yours in Christ
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