This week I have the grace of being part of the ECyD Advisors’ Course in Madrid. The first two days have been dedicated to the way we look at teens. Instead of a program, what we want to do is respond to teens as they are. If we want to help them, we need to begin with who they are. They need to tell us who they are because if we start with what we want, we can rarely help them.
I had already read ahead. I thought it was something we do, a way that we help them. I thought that I already understood this method, which let me understand teens better so I can help them. What I realized, looking at them implies a change in who I am. If I just look at them as something I do, I remain outside them and never understand their interior. And the interior is where the real help comes.
One of the examples that I thought was a little strange at first; then I realized that was what I was trying to do by looking at teens differently without changing who I am. Look out your window; isn’t that a beautiful view? Now focus on a little mark on the window; what can you see out the window? If I only look as a thing I do, then I end up looking at the stain.
To help teens, we need to begin by looking at them how they are.
