In 13 hours, 7 minutes, and 32 seconds…

…I will be picking up my three suitcases and boarding a plane to my new home.

In Madrid.

Now you have to understand, I’m pretty much as American as they come. And so far I’m not exactly an experienced international traveler; I’ve been out of the US of A once in my 22 years. So what’s someone like me doing trying to live and go to school in Spain?

Good question. I have it myself from time to time.

Last October seems like a very long time ago, when the news was announced that Mater Ecclesiae College, center of formation for the Consecrated Women of Regnum Christi, would be closing. Much closer to home is the memory of the numbness I felt when, in December, it was decided that those in the studies stage of formation would be attending San Damaso University in Madrid. Since then I’ve discovered my trust in Our Lord deepening dramatically. I’ve also discovered an unimaginable joy in living my vows of poverty, chastity, and obedience through this new adventure. But that’s for another blog. Today’s is about the fact that tomorrow is the big day. I think all the excitement, nervousness, curiosity, peace, eagerness, loss, expectation, and uncertainty are thickening into that numbness again. I’m looking up the mountain at one of those huge boulders that I’m somehow supposed to … climb.

Two days ago was my first time to hike a real mountain. (Most probably wouldn’t call it a mountain, actually, but I’m from the plains of the Lone Star State…) I was slightly intimidated by the 4-5 hour round trip trek, simply because it was something very new. As we got started, it was a little harder climbing than I had expected. There were several spots that I wasn’t sure how I was going to make it up, being the inexperienced climber that I am. The motivation of reaching the top and seeing the view, though, kept me putting one foot in front of the other. I’d simply have to keep focused on where to put my foot next. Then, although I’d look up to find a towering rock formation, before I’d realized what had happened I’d be looking at the rock from the top.

We all have those moments in our lives, and even from day to day. We look up and find ourselves face-to-face with a situation that is, to say the least, overwhelming. I’ve often found myself looking back and wondering how God got me over those rocks…how he ever managed to get me to where I am now, when I couldn’t have imagined following him into something even half that scary. The answer is one step at a time–sometimes my feet are right next to each other, and other times he asks me to hold my breath and leap. But it’s always just one step.

“You made room for my steps beneath me…” (Ps. 18:36) He’s constantly placing my feet where they need to be, if I simply have the trust to put them there. If I just focus on moving one foot in front of another, following where he shows me, He’ll focus on building the Kingdom in me and in those around me. Caritas Christi urget nos.