Today, I realized that for many years, I have been an Ascension Catholic. I had my moment of encounter with the Risen Christ that changed my life forever. He manifested Himself to me in many ways—presenting Himself alive (cf., Acts 1:3).
What joy I have had knowing this Jesus—crucified for love of me. I have probed His wounds, like Thomas. I have clung to Him like Mary Magdalene. And He has even opened my mind to the Scriptures like the disciples of Emmaus. I love this Jesus and I never want to let Him go.
But He says to me “Do not hold me, for I have not yet ascended to the Father” (Jn 20:17). And in another place, “it is to your advantage that I go away” (Jn:7).
What?
Quite easily now, I identify with the feelings of those disciples that Matthew wrote about on the feast of the Ascension: “Now the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain to which Jesus had directed them. And when they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted” (Mt. 28:17 emphasis added).
I mean, how on earth is it better that He go away? I know Him. I know naught of this “Counselor” of whom He speaks (Cj. Jon 14:15). Is this really a good idea? If you stay, we can show you to the people and they will believe…if you go, what do we have? Just our word.
Well, and also yours: “I will not leave you desolate” (Jn 14:18).
And there’s the rub. Do I trust in His promises? It’s easier to hold on to what I know—this Jesus who I have seen, heard, looked upon and touched (cf. 1 Jn 1:1). And so I cling.
But again, He gives me the gentle reminder “wait for the promise” (cf. Acts 1:4), before many days you shall be baptized with the Holy Spirit.
So Jesus goes away and for ten days these disciples have to wait…and wonder: “ How can this be better? Who is this Holy Spirit?”
Let it go!
This “novena” is one of the most “uncomfortable” moments for the disciples. It’s a process of letting go. They have to let go of their ideas: “Lord, will you at this time restore the kingdom to Israel?” (Acts 1:6) and trust that what is to come really is better.
What they don’t realize, until they finish this process, is that by “letting go” of the Jesus they know and waiting expectantly for the Holy Spirit, they are opening themselves to an even deeper relationship with Jesus: “But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you” (Jn 14:25) and “when the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth” (Jn 16:12).
By letting go, we gain all!
Come, Holy Spirit!
