I really hope there is a special place in Heaven for Catholic catechists.
I teach 8th grade students in preparation for their Confirmation at my Catholic parish in metro Detroit. During one of my recent classes (I was trying to explain the meaning of the concept “One, Holy, Catholic and Apostolic Church” on an evening when my teenage students were in a particularly rowdy mood) and one of my female students piped up with the question about whether or not “gay” people can get married.
I remember sighing internally as I considered how to answer this question in a sound bite.
The 8th grade year for these public school students is likely the last formal class they will ever have to learn their faith. During the months from November to May, I get less than an hour a week with them (taking into account the late comers and the time it takes to get their attention) if they come to class at all, and not counting the days we have off for school vacations, etc.) During this time I must review the entire Catholic catechism in a nutshell.
I get discouraged sometimes at how little these teenagers know about their faith. It is obvious to me which ones are getting much in the way of formation at home. It pains me to say this, but for most, religious education and preparation for the sacraments is just another “box to check,” just another activity on the taxi-mom route amidst the chaos of modern life. And sadly, my students report their Sunday Mass attendance is sketchy at best, and they have not been to confession since 2nd grade.
This is the environment in which I, a volunteer, teach.
I remember my own catechism as a young teen in the 1970s, and even though I attended a Catholic school, my religious education was quite inadequate to counteract the increasingly secular, relativistic culture that surrounded me. I was lucky to have parents who insisted we attend Sunday Mass. They were of a generation that believed obedience to their religion was a virtue, though they had little understanding of how to convey this to me.
As I became an adult and then a wife and mother, the grace I received from my upbringing would eventually win out. I basically taught myself the Catholic faith, using the myriad of resources available today — from Catholic radio, to EWTN to books by apologists like Scott Hahn, to taking classes at Sacred Heart Seminary. There I would discover John Paul II’s Theology of the Body (TOB). This teaching captivated me, and answered most, if not all, of my questions about the faith, including the meaning of marriage as understood in Catholic teaching.
It took me several years to grasp well this amazing catechesis on the meaning of being created male and female and our call to love in the image of God. But with the help of scholars like Christopher West, Jason Evert, Katrina Zeno, and many others, I devoured TOB. And I am now convicted on the teachings of the Catholic Church. All of them.
So when my student asked me that particular question, I had an answer to give. But there was no way humanly possible I could do so in the time I had available to me. I simply said that Church teaches, for there to be a “marriage,” there must be a man and a woman making the covenant.
My student asked me if I agreed with this, and I said yes.
“Then you hate gay people,” she said. The others students started buzzing in agreement.
“I don’t hate gay people,” I said.
I launched into a brief explanation of how we are all sinners, and that most people need healing regarding sexual sin in one way or another. Then I had to get on with the rest of the lesson.
After the class, I looked up an insightful article about how Catholic parents can address questions regarding same-sex attraction written by Dr. Janet Smith, one of my former professors at Sacred Heart. It was she that first introduced me to the Theology of the Body. I told my pastor and the parish Director of Religious Education about the article, which they agreed they could share with only parents, and only if they asked.
The DRE has since told me he did receive some phone calls after my class that day. He said the parents mainly wanted to clarify what the Church teaches about same-sex “marriage.”
One conversation was of particular note. A mother told the DRE she did not object to my answering the student’s question with Church teaching.
But she then said she was surprised I had agreed with that Church teaching. “That is what I object to,” she said.
Sigh.
