“Nothing can be more dangerous than keeping wicked companions. They communicate the infection of their vices to all who associate with them.” (St. John Baptiste de la Salle)
If women have friends who are not prayerful and who continually complain about their husbands, or who are caught up in superficial frivolities…over time, this will have an effect on their souls. If men have friends who are not prayerful and are more concerned with success at their job than their families or who are not careful to guard their purity…over time, this will have an effect on their souls. Having fun together is important, but true friends should edify and inspire you towards a greater fidelity in your marriage and a deeper Faith and love for Christ.
Father – I feel that you are presupposing in this article that the friends seems to present a stonger testimony of the way they are living their lives which are not very edifying. These people also need to receive positive testimony of someone living their faith. If we do not treat them normally, with charity, how could we ever hope to help them with our testimony. One example that struck me was Our Lady, when she accompanied Jesus’ cousins who wanted to make him stop preaching because they thought he was crazy. Mary did not shun them because they thought and acted differently, she accompanied them to try to convince them of the truth, that Jesus was not crazy and that he was doing a lot of good. We need to be strong in our faith, in our convictions in our love, that is what will be able to help so many others. Shunning them would not be a positive or christian answer.
Mimika…I asked Father Michael about your comment., His response:
We need to make a distinction between friends and acquaintances. We should not shun anyone, but we also need to protect ourselves.
Father,
My best friend is not prayerful (not a practicing Catholic actually) but not concerned with professional success; he also tries to keep his moral purity. He is as good an example of a good amn as I can be and we help and support each other.
How providential! I posted on facebook a couple of days ago asking, “What’s the difference between a friend vs. acquaintance” and I got a lot of interesting replies.
What got me started thinking about this is reflecting upon my lack of “friends”… solid, faithful men I can count on AND whom I socialize with on a frequent basis.
In my internal dialogue about this subject, I too concur with Father that “birds of a feather flock together”. I desire holiness and many of my “friends” don’t quite see that path, that urgency to walk it. They are an interesting phenomenon: traditional Catholics, faithful to the Church, but not quite yet ready to fully commit themselves. The sense I get from them is, “you can still be a little secular and still be faithful”.
I believe that our call to holiness requires a 100% commitment. I don’t believe in a middle ground here. But then, that just might be because I’m an electrical engineer and see everything in ones and zeroes! 🙂
God bless!
Father, are you saying that even cousins and other relatives who do not live our Christian faith should be considered more like acquaintances rather than friends? What about St. Monica before her son converted? What about those who have siblings and other close relatives who are not living a Christian life?
I’m also afraid that in our zeal to protect ourselves, we may not give enough credit to the graces God has given us through the sacraments and our prayer life, nor are we allowing our formation in the human virtues to be realistically tested. Surely these should help to overcome any temptation a gossipy or frivolous friend might present.
If we can’t rely on the tools of our Catholic faith – the sacraments, prayer, and good spiritual and human formation – to help us persevere in these cases (which, by the way, are part of normal, everyday life) what good are they?
Finally, St. Jean-Baptiste de la Salle’s quote is noteworthy and famous. If I’m not mistaken, he might have been referring to those who were taking advantage of the conditions of late 17th century France to deliberately lead the masses into spiritual ruin through false doctrines and debauchery. THOSE guys may be deemed wicked. But my good friend who complains about her husband is, by all accounts, merely ignorant of her vocation to marriage. I’d be a real spiritual “delicate doily” if I had to run from that in order to keep my soul from damage!
I think Fr is directing us in the use of prudence. We need to honestly examine some of our “friendships” and consider if they are stoking our fire within or slowly dampering it. If our main group of friends are “fired up” then we can prudently hang with some of our “weeker” brother and sisters and hopefully “stoke them up”. God bless.
“I think Father is directing us in the use of prudence.”
rpaw, did you actually mean to write that Father is providing direction of some sort? Is that his intent on this blogsite?
Or, rather, is Father pointing out the importance of being prudent w/r/t this issue? I was concluding the latter but perhaps some clarification would be helpful to the readership.
Prudence — and a little common sense.
Prudence and common sense – yes. These are the basics in this conversation.
My particular question to rpaw was whether he/she was saying Father Michael is “directing” us or “advising” us to choose our friends wisely. Rpaw seems to be saying the former. I apologize if I didn’t make myself clearer earlier. There is a difference between the two.
What does Father say?
Friends….I had a chance to chat about this with Father Michael…I think we’re making this more complicated than intended. He is simply trying to provide general principles of Catholic teaching and moral principles that could be helpful. Seems like choosing friends wisely is a no brainer.