When I was a young girl, my dad would take me flying in his little plane that seated only two people. My favorite part of the ride was when we would fly directly into a big puffy cloud. From the outside, they look like cotton candy, but upon entry, clouds obscure the sunlight and darken the cabin of the plane. A knot of awe bordering on fear would well up inside of me. That’s how I imagine Peter, James, and John felt when they were covered with a cloud…and suddenly a voice spoke to them.
While he was speaking, a cloud appeared and covered them, and they were afraid as they entered the cloud. A voice came from the cloud, saying, ‘This is my Son, whom I have chosen; listen to him.’ When the voice had spoken, they found that Jesus was alone. The disciples kept this to themselves and did not tell anyone at that time what they had seen…” (Luke 9: 34-36).
In Sacred Scripture, a cloud is often associated with God’s awesome and mysterious presence. When we enter deeply into prayer, we are sometimes entering a ‘cloud.’ We listen. Sometimes God speaks through a whisper, a light, or an image. At other times, he is silent, and we are left seemingly alone, yearning for God. It is precisely in moments like this that we can learn a lesson from the Apostles as they went down the mountain with Jesus after the Transfiguration.
In our sincere search for Jesus and our desire to grow closer to him, we may come to a point where we feel that we have entered that cloud of mystery. The way we used to try and listen to Jesus doesn’t work or make sense anymore. We seem to be getting a different message…or maybe it feels as if we are getting NO message at all. Perhaps it is time to detach – detach from even trying to make sense of the mystery of God, detach from the desire to understand, to see, to imagine. It is time to enter the cloud of unknowing.
What are we to do in this moment? Live in the mystery, sustained by hope and nourished in charity. Let’s learn this lesson from the three Apostles, who also had to come down from the mountain and live in the obscurity of faith.
The three Apostles who accompanied Jesus to the mount for the Transfiguration were also witnesses of his agony in the garden. Jesus invited them to accompany him and be witnesses of both his cross and his glory. After Jesus’ ascension, I wonder how often those three returned to memories of their experiences with him. Perhaps these linked memories sustained them in hope as they faced new challenges: sustaining a new and growing community in the faith, preaching among both pagans and Jews, and setting the record straight about Jesus’ true divinity and true humanity.
The mysteries of God’s saving plan become a part of our own memories when we daily enter into the reality of God’s love for us. How can we do this? During the Year of Faith, the Pope is inviting us to do this in two very specific ways: 1) through prayerful pondering of sacred scriptures and 2) in the immersion of our entire self in the celebration of the Holy Mass. They not only become a part of our memories, but we celebrate God’s saving power present to us NOW.
In moments of darkness, whether in our spiritual life of prayer or due to life’s circumstances, we are sustained and nourished by the memory that God loves us and has saved us; and we are nourished in the present realities of God’s loves for me as he offers me salvation NOW.
Jesus invites us to live in the mystery like the apostles. It is no wonder that to live in the “obedience of faith” implies a listening and bowing one’s head before mystery (see the Catechism of the Catholic Church #144). We listen by opening ourselves up to the Word of God in Sacred Scripture and the Eucharist. Never underestimate the power of these two gifts of God by which he sustains us in hope and nourishes us in love!
Silence is needed to listen to Jesus. But even in the silence, we do not always understand God’s ways or God’s call to our heart, precisely because it is mystery. Nonetheless, Jesus wants to share his mystery with us. He wants to incorporate us into his mystery. Be brave: live in the mystery!
